Well here I am, a day removed from the ultrasound and news that there was no embryo growing inside me… ever. Even though I was so sick and felt so entirely pregnant.
Thanking God for my midwife, Angy Nixon who has been so available and helpful in helping me seek answers as to why the symptoms and the trust was there but the baby wasn’t. You just don’t get this kind of fast response and personal care anywhere but with a small midwife practice, like Scenic Drive Midwives.
Grateful for the internet, where I posted what happened, because I figured I am not alone and so many women out there are not talking about it… I don’t live my life in a closet and since the news of being pregnant was already out… the news that I am no longer needed to make its way too, for several reasons.. and what better way than immediately and without hesitation.
So many people sent nice messages, dropped off gifts on our porch and generally just loved on us in our time of sadness. It brought more tears to my eyes but they were good, healthy, get this off my chest tears.
Also thankful that we have a network of friends of all trades, and someone skilled in that field, saw our ultrasound photo on my blogpost and told us that they think it could be something less serious than a molar pregnancy. Which is relieving to me..
Today we meet with Angy and will have a blood draw done to test the hormone levels and get a clearer picture of what is going on and what the next step truly needs to be. D&C or no D&C.. and what the plan is moving forward for finalizing this pregnancy.
I am leaning now toward believing it could be just a blighted ovum and if so, the whole “could lead to cancerous cells” thing is a lot less evident and scary. So, we’re praying for that.
We really did enjoy our anniversary last night, and the pool was just a load of fun for us and our little girl, Analeigh. Then Hubs and I went to Outback and I had the first Filet of my life. I ate SO much food and had two delicious wallaby darneds to celebrate 5 years. (yumo drink.)
This morning we woke up at the hotel to a bunch of friends announcing on facebook that they were going to Disney on Ice today.. and I remembered that Ana’s cousin had tickets… so after pulling up some videos (and watching them all about 4 times each, mesmerized) I bought tickets too! So after our appointment, we are going to see Disney on Ice. I can’t wait to see Ana’s face light up!!!